Decisions are hard to make, but I think walking them out can be even harder!

We have had a great time so far at Seamill catching up with old friends and making some new ones too. We had a time with Carolyn Howard, who is our line leader on the National Leadership Team(NLT). She talked us through some of the things we have been going through and decisions that we have to make, and it was very rewarding. It didn't totally feel like it at the time, in fact I felt very deflated, not because of what Carolyn said, but because I started to look into myself a bit and realise what was going on for me. Introspection is a strange thing, too much is unhealthy, conversly so is too little, and life at the minute has tended to be the latter. You just keep on keeping on until you stop and reflect a wee bit, which opens up a huge vault of stuff that has been building up for ages.

You would think God would have some sort of pattern set for us in the Bible that would help wouldn't you... hold on a minute, maybe he does....

Matthew 14
22Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone,

Interestingly enough, this is just before Jesus, and subsequently Peter, walks on the water. Even if we look at the start of Jesus ministry and the 40 days he spent in the desert, right before "Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit" - Luke 4:14

Power of the Spirit, demostrations of the Spirits power, complete calm in the middle of the storm, even though Jesus had been through tough ordeals he came out just as strong after spending time alone in prayer. Loving the Father, loving the Spirit, communion with the Three on earth as the had/have in Heaven. Sounds like a good pattern for me!!

So leading from the front, looks like that is what life has for me in terms of YWAM Aberdeen, even if it is just me!!! Still takes a lot of effort, but then God is with me and so who can be against me!? The next steps for me will be to seek God for concrete vision for the team. What is it that God has created YWAM Aberdeen to be? What form will that take? What words does He want to describe us? What faith goals do we need to have? Lots of questions that need answered. I have been told that I have a breakthrough anointing by a few different people over the last few years, sounds fancy until you look at real life examples, like the bow of a ship going through ice in the Arctic! Smash bang whallop, not pretty, ending up with a sore head! Still, that is what we need in Aberdeen, breakthrough.

Right, that is enough for now. More on work vision etc. when it comes to me I think...

We are in Belfast for a couple of days, allowing the grandparents some quality Zoe time. We arrived at 11.45pm on Sat night after a day of Zoe not sleeping and coughing chesty coughs!!

We have had a great time so far, apart from Zoe being a bit sicky bad. I went to St. Mary's, my home church, and it was fantastic to see everyone again. Lots of "hey hows things?" and "yeah, good..."!! But seriously, it was a real rich time. I also met Jonny Clark from YWAM Belfast today. He is a really solid guy and he didn't even seem to mind my million questions!

Mark, the minister at my church, talked about Jesus walking on the water and Peter asking if he can come join in. God has been talking to me lately about the importance of keeping my eyes on Him at all times, and not just crying out for help when I am drowning! I feel like I am asking Jesus if I can come join him on the water, and about to jump out of the boat. In the boat the waves are buffeting and rocking it, and in the midst of that Peter asks to go out. Stepping into the stormy waves.

So uneven surface, not to mention liquid... Not knowing what can happen, I mean where was the Scriptural basis for Peter thinking he could walk on the water too??? Crazy thing is that even after Peter starts walking on the water and comes towards Jesus that he looks away, and starts to sink, the Jesus rebukes him for his lack of faith! The man that just walked on water with Jesus is being rebuked for a lack of faith!!! Still, one of the great points Mark made on Sunday was that it was as soon as he started to sink that he called out to Jesus to save him, not as he was half way submerged, or drowning, but as soon as he started to sink. Good lesson in there for me, I usually cry out to Jesus after I have gone through ten different ways to save myself first!

So yeah, keeping my eyes on Jesus, out on the stormy waters. Sounds like things could be getting more interesting!

Ian

When someone decides to give you something, especially when there isn't a real reason to, it is a very strange feeling. I have been the beneficiary of a few different incredibly generous gifts in the last few days, I get the feeling God is teaching me how to receive a bit more!

A few days ago I started to believe God fully, with faith, for more finance. All good there, offering up the prayers and petitions to God for more... then I gave money to my home church, two months instead of just one.... then the floodgates opened and finance came flooding in! Crazy the way God works, give to release more!

Anyway, quick post to say God is good, He is faithful and wants to give to us, His kids.

Ian

I have just read through the book of Malachai, a nice short book of the Bible, at the end of the Old Testament. It is really challenging, forcing me to look my giving and asking God what my heart is in every gift I give. It seems people from Isreal had been giving God less than the best, holding off on what they should give and keeping the best for themselves, as if God couldn't really tell what was being giving to Him... God even challenges them at one point to give to their govenor what they were giving to God and see if the govenor accepted their offering!

So for me I have to look at what I am giving at this point in time and ask God where is my heart, am I giving our of duty, but secretly trying to hold back the best bits for myself? Do I have a misconception on why I am to give at all? Do I treat it like I am losing out on "my money" by giving some of it away? Of course God answers that one very well:

Malachai 3: 8 - 12
8 "Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. "But you ask, 'How do we rob you?' "In tithes and offerings. 9 You are under a curse—the whole nation of you—because you are robbing me. 10 Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. 11 I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the LORD Almighty. 12 "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the LORD Almighty.

My question to myself is, am I bringing the whole tithe into the storehouse?!

Do I bring all my money?
Do I bring all my time?
Do I bring all my talents?
Do I bring all my energy?
Do I bring all of me???

Giving to God is strange, I mean He already has all he needs right? And if He doesn't He can basically create it! So this whole giving thing can't really be about God, it must be about ourselves.

Of course God is gracious enough to give us a mind blowing incentive in this book as well, namely knowing He is watching, and that even our conversations are remembered!

Malachai 4
16 Then those who feared the LORD talked with each other, and the LORD listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the LORD and honored his name.
17 "They will be mine," says the LORD Almighty, "in the day when I make up my treasured possession. I will spare them, just as in compassion a man spares his son who serves him.

I think that is well cool.